Caring for a Loved One with Dementia

Dementia affects millions of people worldwide, today approximately fifty million patients suffer from dementia. This number is predicted to increase by at least three-fold by the year 2050 as the World Health Organization has forecasted. Each year millions of families undergo the pain of being diagnosed with dementia and if you are a carer of a suffering family member or a friend you will understand the stress, health, time, and money that the disease costs.

The moment your loved one is diagnosed – a new and daunting process starts for them as well as you. You as the caregiver are in the center of this process; loving, patient, and always standing with them. In those hard times when memories start to fade and when words seem too difficult to come by, your kindness is what makes the difference. While it might not always be comfortable for you, the fact remains your care will have a direct impact on their quality of life.

Taking care of an elderly family member, especially those with dementia, can be demanding, and exhausting. It is always important to remember to care for yourself as well to avoid getting burnt out.

The Invisible Second Patient: Caregiver Burden

As a caregiver, you may sometimes feel like the "invisible second patient," because you focus so much on caring for your loved one that your own needs might be forgotten. Caring for someone with dementia is an act of love, but it can be physically and emotionally exhausting. The stress, anxiety, or burnout you feel is not a reflection of your ability—it’s a sign of the heavy responsibility you carry. If you’re feeling stretched too thin or overwhelmed, it’s important to remember that your well-being is just as important.

1. Spot the Signs of Burnout Early: Keep an eye on the following signs which may indicate that burnout is brewing; loss of interest in activities that used to be fairly interesting to you, easily getting annoyed or exhibiting irritability, feelings of hopelessness or even thought of checking out permanently, signs of poor health. If you recognize these signs it’s high time for you to look out for alternative options. 
2. Normalize Your Feelings: You have to realize that it is perfectly normal to feel stressed out, roped, or impatient at times. Most of these emotions are bound to occur when one is taking up the responsibility of caregiving, do not blame yourself for experiencing any of them. 
3. Stick to a Routine: Elderly particularly those with dementia have the need to follow routines in their daily lives. Sticking to a daily routine of the activities that you have come up with will also help reduce the stress that may be experienced by either yourself or your loved one. 
4. Don’t Strive for Perfection: Caregiving is a marathon and not a sprint. Therefore, focus on the fundamental things. The point that needs to be made is that you do not have to be perfect, though you need to stay on track regularly. 
5. Ask for Help: Whether it’s trying to get comfort from friends or seeking the help of professional assistance, do not be afraid to ask for help. Unity is strength, when several people can split the tasks evenly, the results are way better. 
6. Invest in “Me-Time”: Forge time for leisure and fun, social and personal and otherwise, with friends, family, and other acquaintances or interests. Taking care of yourself on a regular basis helps to ensure that your stress levels do not overwhelm you thereby making sure you do not get burnt out. 

Support Systems for You

Research has shown that when caregivers themselves are emotionally supported and provided with practical interventions, there is a massive boost to their physical and mental health. For the same there are programs strategically designed to assist you in handling the most complicated points of concern to the elderly with dementia and to help you minimize pressure.

Here, one has to be compassionate to oneself, as much as to strangers passing by in the next lamplight. It will remain easy for some days while other days will be a struggle, however, with help, one is always able to perform optimally without compromising on self-care. Do not hesitate to rely on family, friends, or certain services in this case. You need to consider some time to take a break, care, and pamper yourself.

You Are Not Alone in Dementia Care

This journey can be quite daunting but you are not alone. In fact there are million others that are in the same boat and there are counselors, programs, and organizations out there who can assist you. Wanting to know how to handle challenging behaviors, and where to turn for help and support for yourself and your loved one, it is helpful when you have the tools to do so. 

Reaching out for help—whether through counseling, support groups, or respite care—is a strength, not a weakness.. Here are some professional care options to consider:

1. In-Home Professional Caregivers: If it is necessary to keep your beloved one at home, get an in-home caregiver who will help with a number of tasks including personal care, feeding, administering medication, etc.
2. Adult/Dementia Day Care Centers: If you need daytime support, adult/dementia day care centers provide a structured environment where your loved one can engage in activities while being supervised.
3. Respite Care Services: There is a solution for those days when you just need to take a break-that is, respite care. This could be a few hours or a few days depending on the need your loved one will be well taken care of by different professionals while you have your much-needed break.
4. Assisted Living Facilities: If you are feeling overwhelmed, then consider choosing the right assisted living for your loved one, that offers assistance in daily activities including bathing, feeding as well as administration of medication. It provides your loved one with long-term care, helping you to reduce your caregiving burden.
5. Dementia Care Facilities: If there is a need to care for a person with dementia, then specialized centers are equipped for behavioral disorders, provide for cognitive activities, and guarantee safety thus relieving the caregiver of the stress of handling it all.
6. Memory Care Units: Memory care units address the needs of residents with advanced dementia by offering care 24/7 by qualified staff to offer physical and emotional support to your loved one.
7. Hospice and Palliative Care: If your beloved is in a terminal state, hospice and palliative care can manage the pain, and will be with you in this difficult period, and guide you.

 It is okay to seek professional services for your loved elderly. It does not mean stepping back from your position – it means that you want only the best for your loved one and for you as well.

Finding Meaning in Your Dementia Care Journey

Over the years, the term that is often referred to as ‘caregiver’ has shifted to ‘care partner,’ meaning you are in this together with the patient. Even as dementia progresses and communication becomes harder, the bond between you and your loved one remains strong.

If you are attending to a person with dementia, caregiving may be a difficult process, but it is one of life’s tasks that can be so rewarding. Being a caregiver may indeed make you build resilience, exercise self-care as well as discover certain strengths you never knew you possessed. Often, happiness is found in the details: the human interaction, the success, big or small, or simply the successful accomplishment of the day without much pressure.

The golden rule is that caregiving will and should involve self-compassion as much as the care of the loved one. According to Tia Walker, “Care often calls us to lean into love we don’t know possible. ” It’s true that caring is showing love to another person, but it is not all about love either. Self-care is important so that you keep on caring for the patients with great concern and energy.